youre lurking in front of me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
