I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
