im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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