Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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