he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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