that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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