"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
