I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
