Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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