3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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