it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize