I accidentally had phone sex last night
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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