ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
