i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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