Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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