she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
