went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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