I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
