what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
