Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
