thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
