is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
