Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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