I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
