So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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