im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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