dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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