For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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