No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize