some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
