I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
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Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.