In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.