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worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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