Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.