I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
