Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You ate ashes out of my bong
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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