maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
