if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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