She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
