after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize