My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think people are normalizing furries
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
