I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
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too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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