my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
