No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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