I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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