I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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