By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
