The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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