If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
