it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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