Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
