You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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