I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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