Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
