Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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