my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
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Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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