The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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