So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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